


When Your Back Is Against the Wall

by lucybeetle



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Angst, Kissing, M/M, UST, or at least it would have been resolved if Hiiro were nicer to Emu, there's always angst, unhealthy relationships?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 10:53:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10216406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucybeetle/pseuds/lucybeetle
Summary: Somehow, Hiiro always comes back to the same argument with Emu.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of friends have suggested to me that my Emu/Hiiro fic is too fluffy; Emu and Hiiro have an unhealthy relationship and should avoid any romantic involvement at least until Emu can be a little more confident of Hiiro treating him better. My view is that just as people don't always choose "healthy" relationships in the real world, they needn't do so in fic, and I can't really perceive many healthier alternatives since I don't ship Emu with either Kiriya or Poppy. Still, I agreed that it wouldn't hurt for Emu to be a little more picky and protect his heart, thus this fic was born out of Hiiro's insistence on shoving Emu up against walls almost every episode.

Hiiro was about to finish his shift and leave CR for the evening when he noticed that the intern wasn’t back.

Poppy Pipopapo had apparently returned to DoReMiFa Beat, and Hiiro had every intention of charging her to replace the cake she’d eaten. He’d had a few arguments with his father over the necessity of paying “Karino Asuna” a wage. She was a character from a video game; what was she going to spend the money on, microchips? He found himself some paperwork to busy himself with whilst he waited for Emu’s return. It was three-quarters of an hour later, and getting close to 9pm, when Emu finally stepped out of the lift. Hiiro was due to perform major abdominal surgery at seven o’clock the following morning.

“I notice you’re back,” he said, and left it at that. He wasn’t going to start asking _where_ Emu had been, as if he were Emu’s mother.

“Ah … sorry about that. Uesugi-san can’t walk very well, and I had to help him get home –”

“I don’t suppose it occurred to you to just call a taxi for him?” said Hiiro.

“I couldn’t do that!” said Emu. “He’s been ill, and, and he’s old! I can’t leave him to struggle on his own!” Just like that, Emu was better than Hiiro without even trying.

Hiiro didn’t answer. Concerned though he was by Emu’s excessive attachment to patients, he knew at some level that he could not fault Emu for taking care of Uesugi. Poppy was right; those who were gone relied on CR, as much as the patients did. That was important.

“Anyway, you didn’t have to wait for me. I know you have to perform surgery tomorrow –” Emu began.

“I didn’t know if I was going to receive a call that Ex-Aid was in danger.” Neither Genm nor Para-DX had ever attacked at night, as far as Hiiro knew; but it could surely only be a matter of time. Emu alone with an elderly, vulnerable patient would be a very good opportunity. Rationally, Hiiro was aware that there was no reason for them not to just target Emu on any other night when he happened to be going home alone in the dark. On this particular night, the risk concerned him more than most; so Hiiro had chosen to stay behind. An intern had no business questioning him anyway.

“I’m sorry,” Emu said simply, and sat down at his computer.

Hiiro was running an hour late already. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if he stopped to give the intern a lift, “Your shift is over too. You can go home.”

“I have stuff to do,” said Emu. “I was late back.”

“You’re under a lot of stress already. And as your senior on the training scheme I’m authorising you to go home and rest.” said Hiiro.

“It’s not going to get easier for me,” said Emu. “Either as a doctor or a Kamen Rider. If I can’t cope with it now, what do you think it’s going to be like for me later?”

Hiiro couldn’t argue that point, so he chose not to, “That’s not a request. Go home.”

“I don’t want to,” said Emu. His tone was firm, though his voice still held the soft tones that Hiiro would always associate with the intern, “It’s like I told Taiga. I’m going to face my problems, as a doctor and a patient.”

Hiiro never did find out what conversation with Hanaya that related to. He was already grabbing the intern’s arms, forcing him up against the wall, where it seemed an increasing number of their conversations ended up; not by design, but in his attempt to get Emu to see some sense. He could hear Emu’s voice, deeper now and more insistent though indecipherable against the swirl of static inside Hiiro’s own head. It blotted out words and reason and all awareness of his surroundings until there was only one moment of clarity that could cut through the haze with a surgeon’s expertise.

Emu’s lips were soft and full, sweet against Hiiro’s own. His first, instinctive feeling, which his mind could not quite frame in words, was that he had crossed some kind of invisible Rubicon; he had kissed someone other than Saki. He thought that he should not be kissing an intern, especially not this one, and then he had no more room for any further thoughts at all. Emu opened his lips a little, so Hiiro opened his, and that felt good and let them breathe a little easier. He was resting in Emu’s embrace now, their foreheads touching together. Hiiro was dimly aware that it had been so long since he had just let someone hold him, five years – more than five? He and Saki hadn’t really been intimate towards the end of her life. He grieved for her every moment of every day but he could not focus on her now, not when he was so close to someone he must not lose as he had lost her.

Emu let his tongue slip between Hiiro’s lips, gentle but a little sloppy; evidently the intern was not an experienced kisser. Hiiro frowned, and felt Emu’s body tense up a little. He massaged his fingertips gently across Emu’s shoulder, waiting until the muscles relaxed and Emu slid loose and pliant against Hiiro. He was aroused and pressing against Hiiro’s thigh and still Hiiro welcomed it. He could not have denied Emu anything anything in that moment, intern or no intern.

Some conscious part of Hiiro tried to remind him that they were in CR, where his father or Poppy could walk in at any time. That it had been years since he’d been in this kind of situation with anyone, and never with someone who wasn’t Saki. Never with another man, with an intern, with Hojo Emu. It was likely that none of these things would have stopped him had Emu not pushed gently against him and moved out from underneath, “Hiiro – I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Emu was saying this now, of all times, when he’d lured Hiiro into revealing almost all his most private self. Hiiro tried to control himself, not to overreact, as the intern would have done. It wasn’t fitting for him to be the one behaving like a hysterical child whilst Emu remained calm. He took a deep breath, preparing for a dignified exit, but Emu was lurking beside him now – “Hiiro?”

“Get out of the way,” said Hiiro, shoving at Emu and heading towards the doorway. The dignified part might have to wait.

“I like you! I really do, but I don’t think you … You get so angry with me. And, and Saki –”

 “Don’t you _dare_ say her name.” Hiiro was so enraged he might have punched Emu. He turned around, but before he could even raise his fist Emu had taken Hiiro’s hands and was drawing him close again.

“I’m going home now,” said Emu, quiet but firm, “Think about it. You need time, but maybe one day … when this is all over –” He kissed Hiiro again, quickly and softly, and left before Hiiro could even begin to respond.

Hiiro knew that "one day" didn’t ever come; but if nothing else, he'd had one precious piece of today.


End file.
